TGC Newsletter: September 2024

What I'm Reading

Why Do We Live in Frustration?: Philosophy and Techniques for Dealing with Frustration from F*ck Up Nights, an organization that hosts events around the globe for individuals to share stories of their failures and mistakes.

We try something, fail, and get angry, frustrated, or annoyed. We analyze, try again, and maybe fail again. Maybe we get a little bit better, maybe we get better then fail, again and again. Perhaps it makes us pissed off. Maybe we’re hurt by someone’s behaviors or beliefs. 

Here’s the good news: we learn something precious when we get angry and frustrated. We learn about our values and needs. Are you annoyed your coworker takes too long to share their opinion on a new idea? Maybe you value jumping into a project. Are you frustrated your friend only makes plans with you at the last minute? Perhaps they value spontaneity, and you value advance planning. If you are angry about a politician’s policy (or lack thereof), maybe you value self-agency or freedom over your own body. 

What has made you frustrated, angry, or annoyed recently? What value has not been aligned? Knowing this, how can you communicate what you need from the situation?

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What I'm Listening To

It’s easy to be cynical and negative. Sometimes it’s fun! But when does it hold us back? In the podcast, Cynicism is Exhausting. There’s an Alternative, by A Slight Change in Plans, Psychologist Jamil Zaki discusses “hopeful skepticism” to view things like a scientist: a theory is only a theory, and we need evidence to support a claim.

My questions for you are: what is the difference between hope and optimism? What is the difference between safety and learning? How does cynicism reflect your values?

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What I'm Doing

Angry journaling. I’ve been working on my anger in therapy. I keep my anger hidden from almost everyone, but I can feel it tensing my body, jaw, shoulders, and chest. I hold onto it for a long time (hello, stubborn Taurus characteristics). I’m focusing on my anger because I want to forgive myself and others and forgive quickly.

Jews are about to enter the New Year, a time of repentance and, ideally, behavior change for the betterment of myself, my community, the nation, and the world. Maybe, in the spirit of anger, values, forgiveness, and learning lessons, it’s time to recognize what value I’m not fulfilling in my life and bring it back.

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What's Moved Me

"It's nice to have a little help, but we often resent when someone else tries to do it all for us. Each individual wants to make their own dreams a reality. If someone hands you the whole thing on a silver platter, they gift you the result but rob you of the accomplishment.

Remember this not only when chasing your dreams but also when supporting others. Help along the way, but let them run their own race. Your job is to live life with them, not live their life for them."

From James Clear’s newsletter, September 5, 2024

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What I'm Wiggling To

I met Remi Wolf at her sold-out concert in Boston! Listen to Disco Man, my favorite song, which made me a huge fan of this talented singer. How did I meet her, you ask? I ran into my cousin, who went to Graduate School with Remi’s dad! My cousin was kind enough to bring my friend and me backstage to hang out with the band (and Remi’s dogs).

Stay Playful,

Tamar