TGC Newsletter: The Imperfect Issue

First, I want to acknowledge the moment of time we are in here in the United States. How hard this month has been. It’s hard to grow when our systems are falling apart more and more every day. It’s hard to write a newsletter. People are scared for their neighbors and friends, worried if they’ll still have a job if funding gets cut, and fearful if they’ll have access to necessary health care. People are seeing violence and representation of violence by highly influential people. We are increasingly switching our mindsets into survival mode, where growing is nearly impossible.

I’m not here to tell you it will be ok because I don’t know that. I can tell you that you’re not alone. I can take a deep breath with you. I’m reminding you that community keeps us safe. Feed it, and it will feed you. Allow yourself time to sit in despair if needed, but you must join a community. Community spreads information, connections, and resources. We need it even more these days.

Another deep breath? I think so. 

Sometimes, fear causes us to freeze for lack of “the perfect” response. Let’s try to unlearn and relearn our responses.

What I'm Reading

I love it when people vent to me, and I get to see them angry. I also love entering my friends's messy cars and sitting in their dining rooms with mail scattered on the table. This new year,  I’ve been thinking a lot about being messy. It’s in response to the sense of control and perfectionism I need for myself and to prove to others. 

This NYT article about the power of being messy highlights how messiness can lead to creativity. We know creativity's benefits: more innovation, excitement, and uniqueness. It gets us out of our heads and into wonder. It’s rethinking and unlearning how to envision a better world.

My challenge for you this month is to be messy. Ask questions and get out of your comfort zone.

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What I'm Listening To

In The Happiness Lab’s How to Embrace Imperfection, Dr. Laurie Santos discusses all the elements pushing us to be perfect all while we are striving to climb an impossible mountaintop. For example, with access to technology, there is a sense of unlimited information and knowledge. The supply is never-ending. 

And many of us have a sense that we need to know everything. But if knowledge is unlimited, how are we supposed to know it all? It’s fundamentally impossible. It feeds into the description of an insecure overachiever with productivity debt, an individual who is driven and celebrated but ultimately doing it to give more and more, be more and more productive. It’s a normal feeling that traps us into this productivity debt in which we feel inadequate unless we produce something. Deep breath, again. Doing everything feels impossible because it is impossible.

Sit with that. You’re striving for something impossible. That seems unfair to you. 

If we can’t do it all, the next step is to audit, prioritize and organize. 

1. Audit: How do you spend your time? What is taking up most of your time? The least?

2. Audit: What are your values?

3. Audit: Are your values and actions aligned? Do you value family time but aren’t spending time with your family? Time to reconsider your actions or your values.

4. Prioritize: Based on the above answers, prioritize how you want to spend your time. What’s achievable?

5. Organize: Consider a SMART goal (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Timebound). How can you use a SMART goal to reorganize your time? For example, I’m going to see my family once a month. Will you make mistakes? Probably, but it’s a lot better than setting an unattainable goal.

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What I'm Doing

This month, I took an improv workshop to get out of my head and into my messy era. Improv can teach us valuable lessons in adaptability, teamwork, resilience, and acceptance of failure. I took an improv workshop this month in the “yes and” holy motto of improv! The ultimate get messy, learn to fail, get out of your head, and “just do it” activity. We have much to learn from improv experts, including their most fundamental habits and skills:

1. Start on the same page: What can you do to show interest in working together?

2. Move on quickly from failure: Mistakes are inevitable; keep going.

3. Focus on a single, simple choice: Despite uncertainty, get started.

4. Listen to respond: The best discoveries and relationships are built when you help someone else feel heard, valued, and understood.

5. Practice “Yes, And”: Sometimes, it means adding to ideas, and often, it means simply embracing and acknowledging what now exists and choosing to move forward, one step at a time. 

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What's Moved Me

The end of a melody is not its goal.

From the wander and his shadow

-Nietzsche

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What I'm Wiggling To

Messy by Lola Young. Speaks for itself, no?

Stay Playful,

Tamar

TGC Newsletter: The Imperfect Pt 2 Issue

Well, well, I seemed to take my own advice on being imperfect because I’m late in sending this newsletter. This newsletter will be extra short and sweet. See you again in three weeks!

What I'm Reading

We’re often told to get out of our comfort zone, but do we really? F*ckup Nights shares 10 questions to evaluate your comfort zone, when to stay, and when to go. Your comfort zone is personality-based, experience-based, mood-based, and values-based. So how the heck do you know when to get out? Read this fun article to learn more. 

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What I'm Doing

For six weeks, I was in physical therapy. My last session was my worst. I fumbled, stumbled, and wobbled in my exercises. My physical therapist was so kind and continued to say I was doing a good job, but the lesson was very clear: progress isn’t linear, nor is the process “complete.”

Now, I must continue my home exercise program without the accountability partners (my PT and money). Taking advice from James Clear’s Atomic Habits, the process is 1% every day. I will continue to fail, how fun. And I will continue to succeed, given I focus on my deliberate practice.

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What's Moved Me

“Your nervous system cannot tell the difference between an imagined experience and a ‘real’ experience.” - Maxwell Maltz

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What I'm Wiggling To

Cause it’s good. Messages from the Stars by RAH.

Stay Playful,

Tamar

TGC Newsletter: The Reflective Issue

Looking Back

Masters Degree: Done

Four semesters, sixteen months, thousands of words written, and countless hours in the library. Plus, a full-time job, coaching, trying to maintain some sort of personal life, and taking care of myself. Phew. I’m tired again just writing it, but I did it. Truthfully, the moment I finished my last undergraduate final, I walked outside the building and screamed, “I’m done!” I told myself I would never go back to school. I am not a school person. I believed this. I’m a learner at heart, but I learn through experience, not in a classroom. Beliefs about ourselves can change. How powerful is that?!

Here are some updated beliefs:

1. Proving to yourself that you can change for the better is a grounding and powerful feeling.

2. Continue to show up when it aligns with your values, and take a step back when it does not.

3. We live in a system where everything is interconnected. This can make relationships complicated.

4. Go and get it. Try again, ask for feedback, and be flexible. If you fail, take a step back, assess, and be vulnerable to learn what needs to change. I cannot emphasize this enough: keep going.

5. When you’re inspired, create. Believe in growth and the benefits of change, and wiggle while at it.

6. Life can be tough. Create space for people who love you to show up for you. Accept that form of love. You’d want the other person to do the same.

Looking back, I’m most grateful for four groups of people: 1) my team in the Career Development Center at Emerson College for encouraging me to take this opportunity, 2) my cohort in the Business of Creative Enterprises program, who inspire me every day, 3) my professors who expand my thinking, and 4) friends and family who have been patient with and kind to me over the past sixteen months. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

I celebrated by going to Arches and Canyonlands National Park in Utah! The graduation commencement ceremony will be in May, and I'll celebrate again.

What now? You’ll just have to continue reading.

A Year of Newsletters: Done

Twelve months, twelve newsletters. Twelve songs to wiggle to! Twelve podcasts, articles, food for thought, and opportunities to learn. If you’ve been receiving the newsletters each month, I’d love feedback on what you read here that’s still ruminating in your mind and what else you’d want to learn.

Additional Highlights

It’s been a year since I received my Co-Active Professional Coaching Certification (CPCC)! I also received my Associate Coaching Certification (ACC) from the International Coaching Federation (ICF) in May. Say all those letters five times fast!

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Looking Ahead

What Now?

Great question. It’s the question of the month. First, learn to be bored. Be lazy. Recover. Second, stay in my current role as the Assistant Director, Graduate Students in the Career Development Center at Emerson College. I talk a lot about values. One of mine is stability. I’m aligning my values and my actions. Third, expand my coaching practice by opening my books to more clients. But how?

How you can help:

• Share this newsletter with someone who is looking to get inspired.

• Know someone who is stuck? Send them this Calendly link to set up a free 30-minute consultation.

• Bring me into your organization for coaching services. Set up a time to discuss with this Calendly link.

Who I work with:

• Youth: For teens and young adults in their 20s, figuring out what life after high school or college could look like.

• Adults Seeking Change (Professional or Personal): This is for adults navigating career or other life changes, including leadership development within your role.

• Entrepreneurs: For entrepreneurs starting or growing their small businesses specializing in creative industries.

• Non-profit or education organizations or social enterprises: For teams working to solve a problem. This will focus on individual leadership coaching.

• Do you know someone that doesn’t fit the description? Reach out to me to discuss.

How to Prepare for 2025

In preparation for 2024, I made a Bingo card to gamify my goals because I hate boring New Year's resolutions. Getting creative and playful and writing down personal and professional goals was fun. I had a mixture of goals I knew I would accomplish; some I worked towards (and failed at accomplishing), and some were pure fun. In the fall, I got Bingo!

Completed squares included seeing a celestial event, getting a cat, finishing graduate school, and volunteering for the presidential election. Goals not met yet included getting hired by a company to coach (hello, 2025 goal), traveling outside the US, and hiking Mt. Washington. Who wants to help me meet my 2025 goals?

Tips for setting 2025 goals:

1. Make the time-bound; for example, host a dinner party once a month.

2. Make them specific; for example, go dancing 4x.

3. Mix in goals you can easily accomplish and more challenging tasks.

4. Align them with your values; for example, volunteer (giving back), attend museum events (continuous learning) or visit one new place a month (exploration).

My 2025 Bingo card includes goals like:

• Teach my cat, Baxter, a trick;

• Take an art class;

• Get a new coaching certificate and;

• Double my newsletter subscribers (can you help?)

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What Are You Wiggling To?

Let’s flip the script! What song do you have on repeat that’s got you moving and grooving in your seat?

Stay Playful,

Tamar